Sound the Alarms!

Well, I don't cook. I shouldn't cook. I'm not going to cook ever again... I tried getting some food together last night for my lovely wife and I... it was just some sausages... and, well, the fire alarm went off. ADT called right away, but the alarm went off again, and that disconnected me from the ADT service center. In the minute it took me to grab the number from the drawer and grab my cell phone, the fire department had already been mobilized. ADT was able to convey a message that we were NOT being toasted, but the fire truck was already down the street (yep, I could hear the sirens), so they still had to come to the house to make sure everything was okay. The whole neighborhood came out to see what the commotion was, and sure enough, it was just me, cooking. I'm now only authorized to use the coffee maker and the microwave, and even those are only with a probationary period.