Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Where did I put my giant foam finger?

Okay, so I went to a basketball game last week, and the whole scene, from top to bottom just seems absolutely ridiculous to me.

First off, cheerleaders, or, okay, "dancers," ... really? Is that supposed to invoke something in me other than cynicism? Don't get me wrong, I love scantily clad women, but a team of them jumping around on the middle of a basketball court flanked by camera crews, ball boys, and a guy on stilts with giant foam hands, just makes me think the whole idea is stuck in a tacky 80's cheese-fest.

Then, after spending hundreds of dollars (tickets, parking, food & beverage), think we could get buy without the blatant commercialism of every damn aspect of the game? It's the Comcast (which by the way, insists on calling itself Comcast but has branded itself XFinity--how's that for marketing genius) Fan of the Day, it's the Massachusetts Lottery Row of the Game, it's the JetBlue urinal of the month, it's the Billy-Bob Rib Shack Play of the Game… Can I go anywhere without advertising? I guess not in the Toronto-Domnion Garden (that's what the TD stands for).

Oh, I haven't mentioned the game yet… I think, and don't quote me on this, there was ALMOST two to three minutes of uninterrupted action at some point in the game. I could barely contain myself. Thank Christ there were foul whistles, time-outs and quarter breaks to otherwise break up the action. It would have been dizzying to have to watch professional athletes exert themselves for up to five minutes without a break. Fortunately, I don't think any of the multi-million dollar athletes had to participate in the entire 48 minute game. That would have been exhausting. Especially when so many of them ended up laying on the floor when another player looked at them funny and committed a foul. Most of the victims, I mean players, would stay on the floor for a moment or two, for effect… one even held his knee while thousands of people expectantly looked on… Thank the Chevy God of the Game he was okay.

Don't get me wrong, the skills these guys have at getting a ball through a small hole IS impressive. But, is it worth the millions of dollars they make? Not so much, in my opinion. I think I'd rather watch a pick-up game where there's no referee blowing a whistle every 90 seconds, where a team WON'T call a time-out with 8 seconds left in a quarter, and, when a player get's knocked down, he gets up and keeps playing.

This highlights my feelings toward most "sports." Baseball? BORING. Football? How long does it take to play a 60-minute game?

Get my drift? I guess I don't like watching any sports--even ones that I like. I love riding, but will I sit down and watch an entire Tour de France stage? No.

I'll watch my friends race when I can, but I'll probably never be the Celtics/Patriots/Red Sox/Comcast/Verizon/Chevy/Bazooka/Kraft/Coke Fan of the Month, and I'm okay with that.

1 comment:

Jamie said...

I know you're fired up when I find grammar errors in your posts!
I too find these sports hard to watch in person. The incredible thing is that the leagues used to try and get the "feel of the game" across on television but now when you go to a game they try and make you feel like you are at home.
I would suggest you give college basketball a try. Timeouts are at first whistle under 16, 12, 8, and 4 minutes to play, there is much less fouling, and you don't have to stomach the fact the players make millions.
As for a watching an entire Tour stage: I'd watch the living bejesus outta that without even going to the bathroom.